The teenage years are a crucial stage of life; it’s a phase of self-discovery, social pressures, and the constant tug-of-war between fitting in and staying true to oneself. As parents or teachers, witnessing our children going through their teenage years can be both nerve-wracking and rewarding. More than anything, we often wonder what we can do to help. One of the biggest challenges they face is peer pressure, the influence of their peers to conform to certain behaviors, beliefs, or attitudes. Especially when they are exposed to so many different values shown by social media, movies, or society.
From a Christian perspective, navigating peer pressure goes beyond just avoiding negative influences. It’s about guiding them to make choices that align with their faith and values, drawing strength from God, the ultimate source of peace. It’s also about understanding their basic needs of acceptance and communication.
2 Types of Peer Pressures
Before we discuss how to face peer pressure in the correct way, let’s first explore two types of peer pressure that everyone should know about:
1. Positive Peer Pressure
Peer pressure isn’t always a bad thing. Research suggests that social circles can actually encourage positive behaviors in young individuals. Examples of this include promoting good study habits, volunteering, saving money, finding employment, and steering clear of risky activities. Engaging in these behaviors can provide support, boost self-esteem, and lead to better decision-making.
2. Negative Peer Pressure
However, peer pressure can also take a negative turn, pushing young people into risky behaviors in order to fit in. This might involve criminal activities, skipping school, buying vapes, or participating in bullying. Negative peer pressure can lead to feelings of anxiety and depression, poor academic performance, withdrawal from family, and low self-esteem.
Read more: The Importance of Parent Involvement in Education: Support, not Hover
Because of this, parents need to monitor the effects of peer pressure in their teens. This is done mainly to ensure their teens avoid engaging in sinful or unlawful behavior. Now, let’s delve into the correct ways to handle peer pressure below.
How to Handle Peer Pressure for Christian Youth
Step 1: Building a Strong Foundation
1. Root their identity in Christ
Help them to understand that their worth and acceptance come from God, not their peers. Encourage them to pray and develop a personal relationship with Jesus.
2. Open Communication
Foster a safe space where they can openly discuss their struggles and feelings without judgment. Listen actively and offer guidance only after understanding their feelings.
3. Values-based Decision-Making
Peer Discuss your family’s values and how they apply to everyday situations. Encourage critical thinking and help them identify potential pressure points.
4. Positive Role Models
Surround them with positive influences, both within and outside the church. Encourage participation in activities that align with their values and interests
Step 2: Equipping Them for Difficult Situations
1. Develop Communication Skills
It’s beneficial for them to be able to express their feelings and opinions assertively without being aggressive or defensive. Encourage them to ask questions and seek clarification before making decisions.
2. Identify “Safe Havens”
Talk about trusted adults, mentors, or friends they can turn to for support and guidance when facing peer pressure. Encourage them to surround themselves with positive influences who will uphold their values.
Read more: Raising Teenagers: Essential Guide for Parents
Step 3: Remember, It’s a Journey!
1. Validate Their Struggles
Acknowledge that peer pressure can be difficult and offer support without judgment. Listen actively and empathize with their feelings of confusion or frustration.
2. Focus on Growth, Not Perfection
There will be missteps and moments of weakness. Use them as learning opportunities to reinforce their faith and equip them for future challenges.
3. Celebrate Victories, Big and Small
Recognize their efforts to stand up for their values, even in small ways. This positive reinforcement will encourage them to continue making wise choices.
Conclusion
Facing peer pressure is a normal part of growing up. In guiding young Christian individuals through the maze of peer pressure, a multifaceted approach is key. First and foremost, establishing a firm foundation rooted in Christ is paramount, emphasizing their identity and worth in God rather than in the approval of peers. Open communication channels foster trust and provide avenues for discussing struggles and values-based decision-making. Surrounding them with positive role models and equipping them with communication skills and “safe havens” further fortify their resilience. Understanding that handling peer pressure is a journey, not a destination, involves validating struggles, focusing on growth, and celebrating victories along the way. Through these intentional steps, Christian youth can navigate peer pressure with faith, wisdom, and grace.
To support your journey in parenting teenagers, it is also beneficial to look for a school that can holistically support your child. This can come in different forms, and one of them is through supportive Learning Support Team (LST) and programs. Through these kinds of programs, such as the ones implemented at SPH Kemang Village, your journey in parenting teenagers will be a much more enjoyable one!
Prepare your child for a successful future by enrolling them in our learning programs. Join us at SPH and make the parenting journey of raising teenagers an even more enriching and enjoyable experience!
Written by Grace Kwee, Counselor at SPH Kemang Village (grace.kwee@sph.ac.id)
